Infallible Love
by neon toaster x
Summary: Another look into the events final battle against the reapers and what happens to Aurora and the crew. AU.
1. Long Goodbyes

Hurt bubbled up in Kaidan's stomach as he stood in London watching Shepard talk things over with Anderson. He observed her carefully, trying to memorize everything about her, as if he hadn't already. He watched as she shifted from foot to foot, slowly and twirl her hair. She'd never admit it, but she was nervous. He could read her like a book after everything they'd been through together, and that's when the hurt returned tenfold.

Aurora had chosen to take Garrus and Javik to escort her to the beam, while he was heading biotics division. Why? Why wasn't he going with her? His eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to push past all of the feelings that were welling up inside him. Rejection, sadness, and hurt were the most prevalent. He was happy he was able to help. He was happy he'd prepared his students for this, but all he really wanted to do was protect her. He wanted to keep her safe. How could he do that if he wasn't with her? He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair.

"Don't take it personally, Alenko. She's only trying to do what you want to do for her," Garrus spoke from behind him. Kaidan turned and looked the man who'd become like a brother to him. Even after his abandoning them on Horizon, Garrus was still there for him. Garrus never held it against him.

"I know..." was all he managed to let fall past his lips.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to her, I promise," Garrus said and as the men locked eyes Kaidan knew of promises unspoken. Garrus, much like Kaidan, would do anything to keep Rorie safe, even if it meant sacrificing his own life. Kaidan appreciated that more than Garrus would ever know, but it did little to ease his nerves.

"I want both of you to make it out of there alive. I want all of us to," Kaidan replied. God how he wished he was going with them.

"We will," Garrus said, flashing him a grin. Kaidan felt his own lips lift before shaking his head.

"Thank you, Garrus. Now don't you have something you should be calibrating?" Kaidan said with a smirk. Garrus merely let out a small laugh before walking into the building they were standing next to. It felt good to joke around for a few seconds, even if there was no true, hearty laughter involved.

"Hey Kaidan," Aurora's voice sounded behind him and he felt his breath catch in his chest. Sadness, happiness, fear, and nervousness all ran through him at once. He stood silent for a moment. _Be strong, Alenko._

"Hey, there you are," he turned and flashed a smile. She was beautiful as ever.

"You ready?"

"Absolutely. For anything. Bring it on," Kaidan lied through his teeth. How could he ever be ready to leave her?

"And biotics division? Your students?" Aurora questioned.

Kaidan let out a small, honest laugh. His students were… very excited.

"More than ready. Eager. That's youth for you," he paused. "Guess we're old soldiers, eh Shepard?"

"Yeah, I guess we are," she replied. With all the battle they'd seen together, she certainly felt old. Eager wasn't a word she'd ever use to describe her feelings about what was about to happen.

"Comrades-in-arms," he said, trying to put his best smile on, but he knew what was coming and that fact alone had his voice quivering. "We know this score… We know this is goodbye." His voice shook as he tried to push away the overwhelming sadness and tears that were threatening to burst through.

"When this is over, I'm going to be waiting for you. You'd better show up," Aurora replied, sadness stinging every part of her. She'd tried her best to sound intimidating, but she'd never really been good at that to begin with.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna fight like hell for the chance to hold you again," he said staring her in the eyes. He had so much to thank her for. "Listen, there's things I want to say… Looking back, I have a few regrets, but not many. That's pretty damn amazing, right? Messed up kid that I was. I never would've dreamed of the life I had. And I owe a lot of that to you, you know?"

"It's been quite a ride," Aurora said with a small smile. They'd been through so many incredible things together, and she wouldn't have wanted to go through them with anyone else.

"It sure has. But how are you doing, scared?" Kaidan asked.

"Damn straight I'm scared, but that fear is gonna be keep me alive long enough to strike these bastards right through the heart," Aurora replied.

_You don't have to put on your brave face for me, Rorie… _he thought to himself, but he'd never allow himself to say it. He knew she didn't want to feel vulnerable right now, he knew if did then neither of them would ever leave that very spot.

"Yeah exactly," was the response he chose.

"So… take care Major," she inhaled sharply before finally bringing herself to be able to walk away from him.

She went to move, but got barely three steps before she felt his strong arms wrap around her and pull her close. Their lips clashed together in a moment of passion that neither of them ever wanted to end. He held her close for a moment, allowing two heavy breaths to leave him as he fought off the urge to cry.

"I can't lose you again…"

The word hung silently in the air for a few seconds before he knew they needed to keep moving.

"Well, I should find the rest of my squad," he said trying to give her the easiest out possible.

"Yeah…" she said breathlessly as she too fought off the endless stream of tears she knew was coming.

She walked into the building where Garrus had just entered a few minutes earlier, and as soon as she rounded the corner she collapsed against the wall and let the tears fall freely and silently.

Kaidan stood silently for a moment before walking over to where he knew his students were waiting. He watched them from afar for a moment. Laughter and jokes were abundant, and so were smiles. Kaidan couldn't bring himself to do any of those things, so he stood in silence as his heart shattered.

The woman he loved most in the world was probably about to die, and there was nothing he could do about it. He was left with nothing but his memories and their parting words. There was so much more he wanted to say, but he couldn't find the words. No words could do the love he had for her justice. It was endless. He would define it as selfless, but his actions on Horizon were the most selfish thing he'd ever done.

He heaved a heavy sigh as his shoulders lifted and dipped with a few quiet sobs. He would still protect her in every way he could.

"Ready Alenko?" someone shouted from where his students were sitting. He felt their eyes piercing him and wiped his face. He emerged from the protection of the shadow he'd been hiding in and put a stoic, brave expression on before making his way to them. This felt like the beginning of the end. He could only hope that it wouldn't be.

"Let's go," he said before the students stood up and cheered. They all lined up and got ready to move forward.

"We're going to have to split up in order to protect the rest of them the best we can. Always watch your own back and watch out for those around you," a blonde woman spoke up with a grin.

"And where exactly do you think biotics division is going without me?" a voice spoke from behind them. Kaidan's jaw hung open only slightly. He'd recognize her voice anywhere…


	2. Battle Wounds

Kaidan closed his mouth and turned on his heel to face the woman. Icy brown eyes, a face that looked permanently angry, every inch of her tattooed.

"Jacqueline?" Kaidan questioned taking a few steps backward. "What… what are you doing here?"

"Me? What the hell are you doing here?" she shouted as her eyed narrowed and her fists began to glow blue.

"Jack…" Kahlee scolded from beside him and Jack gritted her teeth before calming down only slightly.

"I'm here to kick some reaper ass, and as long as you stay the hell out of my way we'll be just fine," she snarled.

Momentary confusion overcame Kaidan as he stared at her. She was an ally? How? She was far from an ally last time they met. That was a day that would be forever etched into his mind.

_The Alliance had assigned Kaidan to a mission on Zanethu to try and handle peace talks and take down a possibly dangerous Eclipse troop leader. They'd been causing a lot of trouble for the Alliance and Kaidan was sent to put a stop to it. He'd taken two other Alliance soldiers with him, but they were both easily picked off by the mercs. Kaidan shut his eyes as he rounded a corner and pushed away the painful memories that flooded through him seeing their pale, cold bodies lying lifeless on the ground. _

_He'd never forget the first time he saw a squad mate die at the hands of an enemy. Jenkins…_

_Memories of Ashley crept slowly into his mind as well. Shepard chose him over her, and despite the fact that it wasn't his fault, a guilt weighed heavy on his heart. No, he had no time to dwell on loss. He had to push forward. He had to win. His heart beat heavy in his chest. He rounded another corner and took cover, hoping to elude those who followed him. He could hear the footsteps, and that's when a voice unlike any he'd ever heard sounded above everything else._

"_Get on your knees!" she shouted, her entire body glowing blue. He could see it out of the corner of his eyes, and he cursed himself for being so stupid. He should have taken a different route, he should have had a better plan, he should have done so many things differently, but none of that mattered now._

"_Listen! We only shot because you shot first!" Kaidan attempted to plead, his voice coming out much louder than he'd anticipated. He was supposed to sound honest, approachable, but it was hard to feel that way when death was fresh on your heels, fresh in your mind, forever pressed into your brain like a hot iron._

"_Right, right. I forgot, you Alliance pricks are all about keeping the peace. You seem to be doing a pretty shit job," she growled as she came closer. "Do you know who I am?"_

_Kaidan stare at her for a moment, her cold eyes suddenly hollow as they met with his. He raised a brow for a moment and shrugged his shoulders before standing from the crouch position._

"_Woah! Did I tell you to stand up?" she shouted, before throwing pull directly at him. He didn't have a chance to get out of the way, and the next thing he knew the suit of his collar was firmly within her grasp._

"_I have no idea who you are," Kaidan struggled against her grip, realizing that his gun was now feet from him. He tried to ignore it, not allowing his front to fall. "And I don't particularly care."_

"_Jacqueline Nought, most powerful biotic in the world. And now I think I'll have some fun with you," she said, a sadistic smile playing across her lips. Kaidan might have called her attractive, if she wasn't so absolutely bat-shit crazy. The tattoos were a little too much, too. Every inch of skin seemed to be covered. His mind wandered to Shepard, who had a few tattoos. As usual, with memories of Shepard, an unending sadness quickly threatened to take hold of him. God how he missed her._

_He felt himself get thrown to the ground and he scrambled quickly to his gun. He called to the shuttle that brought him with only a few words and before he realized what he was doing he was engaging her in a battle._

_Lift. She dodged._

_Throw. She retaliated with Shockwave just in time to hit his throw attack causing a biotic explosion. Both of them were thrown hard against the walls. He scrambled for a gun before throwing stasis._

_A direct hit._

_He smiled victoriously before lifting his gun and pointing it directly at her head. He stared at her for a moment, her hollow eyes still boring into him, despite her frozen state._

"_So much for the most powerful biotic in the world," he said with a small laugh. It was then that she broke free of stasis and charged for him. She was swift and ruthless. A hard biotic fist collided with his jaw and he fell. He lifted his gun and fired, a direct hit into her arm. She recoiled immediately._

"_You fucker!" her voice echoed throughout the room._

_A loud explosion and rubble was sent flying in every direction. Five Alliance soldiers burst into the room shouting, throwing powers, and firing weapons. Kaidan's brain couldn't keep up and before he knew it he fell to the ground, a stinging worse than any burn he'd ever received, and his eyes widened in pain. He made no noise, no shout, simply collapsed to the ground quickly, his eyes falling on her._

_A crazed smile on her face, her entire body hued in blue once more. She pointed the gun, this time the barrel was pointed straight for his head._

_He didn't hesitate. He used stasis once more, and froze her in an instant._

"_Cuff her! We don't have much time!" Kaidan shouted, his eyes finally falling to the wound on his leg. His suit was stained dark purple, and was soaked, sticky with blood. He swallowed hard, attempting to stand before his leg gave out on him and he toppled once more._

"_Damn it," he muttered to himself before two soldiers charged towards Jacqueline and threw cuffs on her, as well as another round of stasis before attempting to drag her into the shuttle._

"_Alenko! This is that crazy bitch that crashed that shuttle into the Hanar moon! We're taking her to Purgatory. I'll have Stevens bring you some medi-gel," one of the officers shouted. Kaidan nodded, the last thing he saw were those icy brown eyes as Jack was hauled away into the shuttle._

He inhaled sharply as his eyes stared into hers once more. She was alive, in the flesh, and free. His eyes moved between Kahlee and Jack.

"How in the world did you get out of Purgatory?" he questioned, eyes narrowed.

"Oh? You didn't know? Your girlfriend busted me out _with Cerberus,_" Jack retorted, knowing she hit a sore spot, a triumphant smile across her face.

Anger flooded Kaidan's veins as he remembered Horizon, and Cerberus, and that entire year of hell. Of course it was their fault.

"Shut up," was all he managed to say because he knew it was true. It took Kaidan a long time to get over the fact that Shepard had trusted Cerberus, and even longer to get over the fact that they might have changed her while rebuilding her, and the fact that they used her for their own selfish gain.

"Aw is Cerberus a sore spot for the big bad Major?" Jack said with a mock pout.

"I said shut up!" Kaidan shouted angrily. The students who'd been chattering around him grew silent.

It was then that they heard it. An ear-piercing, inhuman screech that shook the very core of your soul with fear.

"We need to move!" Kahlee shouted as quickly as she could. "Alpha team come with me! Beta with Kaidan, Gamma with Ja-"

Another ear-piercing scream was heard, but this time it belonged to Kahlee.

Kaidan's head turned and before he could register what was happening the unholy beast had picked her up and put a fist through her. Then the entire world exploded into chaos.


	3. Shattered

People were running in every direction, screaming. No one had prepared them for what battle was really like. No one prepared them for the loss of a teacher, a friend. No one prepared them for the fact that there was no time to mourn, there wasn't even time to think.

"Let's go!" Jack shouted, and practically in unison she and Kaidan were overtaken by a blue hue. They ran, Kaidan avoiding those in his way, and Jack pushing them out of hers. It was in that moment that Kaidan was thankful for his Alliance instincts. He'd seen enough death that he knew how to spring into action without giving it a second thought. If he were still the boy he was when he joined the Alliance he'd be where his students were now: hiding, running, terrified.

Kaidan's instincts told him to react. In the choice between fight or flight he'd been conditioned to choose fight, to choose fight and win, for the good of Earth.

They managed to create enough distance between them and the banshee, a few heavy breaths leaving Kaidan as he dove behind cover. It felt like forever since he'd done this, he only wished it were Shepard he was with instead of Jack.

How was she doing?

Kaidan and Jack were unrelenting in their fire. Biotic explosion after biotic explosion, shot after shot. The banshee sent out an attack of own and it managed to hone in on where the two were hidden. Kaidan felt it touch him, despite being so far away. Pain coursed through every vein in his body and as the Banshee let out a screech the two of them were thrown to the ground, hard. He felt the wind leave his stomach momentarily as he lied there staring at the stars. He got up two seconds later and he and Jack threw one more biotic combo, finally ending the monster's life.

The banshee let out a final screech before dissolving into nothing more than ash. Jack let out a hysterical cackle. Kaidan raised a brow and glanced down at his suit, making sure he wasn't wounded.

"I'm glad your biotics are better than your looks, Alenko," Jack said. Her eyes were narrowed, but she was smiling. Kaidan assumed it was a compliment.

"Uh, you too," he said with small smile before a low growl sounded from their left.

Jack ran immediately in the direction of the noise. Kaidan followed in suit, but the enormous thing crashed around the corner, and swatted Jack, sending her flying behind him. His eyes widened as she remained still.

"Jack!" he yelled. Nothing.

The brute's eyes found him, and he immediately began to run backwards.

"OH fuck no!" Jack yelled, causing it to stumble backwards. Kaidan used throw a second later causing another biotic explosion.

Kaidan then whipped out his Valkyrie and fired. Headshot after headshot, and finally its head exploded and the beast fell forward with an earth-shaking thud.

"Alenko how's biotics division? I heard a banshee," Anderson's voice came in through a headset. He glanced towards Jack who made a slight face and his eyes fell to the ground.

"We're doing well, but…" Kaidan said, searching for the words.

"But what Major?" Anderson shouted. Was this the time? Was this the place to tell him?

"Sanders is dead, Anderson," Jack came to Kaidan's rescue over her own headset. There was a part of Kaidan that disliked Jack for interfering. Did she really have to be so blunt about everything all the time? Did she not realize that the woman he just loved died? Kaidan's eyes narrowed.

"What? You apparently didn't have the balls to say it so I did," Jack snapped at him. She was right. While he didn't appreciate his manhood being brought into this he simply nodded towards her.

"Thanks," he murmured away from his headset so Anderson wouldn't here.

"Carry on, soldiers," Anderson said, his voice hollow and broken. Kaidan wanted to say something, but he had no idea what.

So, he did as Anderson said and he and Jack continued their reign of biotic terror over the reapers they came across. Eventually they reached a group of Alliance soldiers that were holding a position.

"Any word on Shepard?" Kaidan voiced the first question that came to mind. If anyone would know, they would.

"She's close to the beam," one of the soldiers said with a smile. Kaidan felt relief wash over him as he nodded thanks to the man. This could really happen, they could really destroy the reapers. For the first time in what felt like eons, Kaidan felt hope for this mission.

He turned towards the beam with a smile as a bright red laser was cast from the reaper. His eyes widened. An explosion shook the Earth, and the entire galaxy fell silent. The woman who was supposed to save them was...


	4. Hollow Lunacy

It felt like the entire world had gone silent before him, and all he could hear was his own voice.

"SHEPARD!" he screamed, his grief coming out booming and strained. And then he fell silent, too.

He stared at the faces around him. He saw them uttering words, probably caring, but he couldn't hear a thing. Before he knew what he was doing he was running, running to where he knew she would be. She couldn't leave him again. He wouldn't be able to take that kind of pain again.

This time there would be no coming back.

He arrived at the beam and the scene around him had his eyes filled with tears, his heart filled with an unceasing pain unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Emotional pain was undoubtedly the most evil form of suffering; emotional pain never really healed. Everyone carried invisible scars that would never _really_ heal, and now Kaidan was completely covered. He would never be able to come back from this.

His eyes fell on Garrus. The Turian was bloody and unmoving, he was frozen in death. Kaidan inhaled sharply as his insides were slowly torn apart. That man was had become his brother. He promised they would all come out of this alive. Kaidan felt hollow and empty, a former shell of the soldier that he used to be, and as he turned once more the person he used to be was reduced to shadow and rubble, the former Kaidan Alenko became a mystery, a legend.

"Shepard! No, no, no, no," he repeated over and over quietly to himself as he ran to her. She lied there, eyes closed. She couldn't be...

"Rorie please, don't leave me like this. Please come back," he said, finally allowing the tears that had been threatening to spill fall freely. He inhaled and exhaled, his body shaking with fierce sobs every time. He begged her silently to return to him, not to abandon him to walk this earth alone. He hugged her body close to him, burying his head in the crook of her neck.

He could still hear her voice, her laugh...

Streams of hot, liquid pain poured from his eyes and he did nothing to stop it. He lifted her body, his face grim, etched with confusion and pain. He moved to carry her to the spot where he was waiting before, to keep her with him, and then he turned selfish. No, these were his last moments with her, he didn't want anyone else to see or hear what words of love and despair would leave his lips.

His mind was swallowed whole by grief. He kissed her cheek, her forehead, her lips, silently willing her to come back to life every time, to wrap her small arms around him so he could lift her up and spin her around one more time, so he could tell her how much he loved her one more time, so he could make love to her one more time.

His heart was tight and broken as he finally laid Shepard's body back down on the ground. He was gentle, as if handling a piece of delicate crystal or a newborn baby. She was too fragile now to be tossed about in the same manner he used to throw her on her bed, or up against the wall.

He closed his eyes and he could see her smile, hear her voice, and in that instant he knew he couldn't be without her. Without Shepard, there was no reason for him to continue on. The past few years had shaken his moral fibers, made him question who he was, made him question who Shepard was. He was unsure of a lot of things, but one thing he would never question was how much his heart longed for Shepard, how much she truly was his soul mate, and everything he'd ever wanted. No matter how much he questioned who she was, he always knew that he never wanted to be without her. Even when he abandoned them on Horizon, he regretted it every day.

And now she was gone again. This time it was for forever. There was no reason for him to stay here, too. He would join her on her adventures in the next life. He searched the ground for a gun. He found one by Garrus' body, and he swallowed hard as he took it. How right to do this, to join them by one of their own weapons. How fitting, how wonderful. The thought of the next life filled Kaidan with a maniacal kind of ecstasy. He would be with Shepard again, and finally nothing and no one would be able to take her away from him. _Finally…_

He lifted the gun and placed the barrel to his temple. It would be so simple, to leave everything behind. He smiled with a grin so wide he wasn't sure what had possessed him. All he had to do was pull the trigger, and he would be with her again. He bit his lower lip gently, staring at the lifeless body before him. Her messy red hair, her body stained with blood, dead… He wouldn't allow himself to think that word. No, she was… gone, sure, but not dead. The word was too permanent, too forever.

But then, he was about to be _dead_ too, wasn't he?

The smile played across his face again at the thought. He shut his eyes, never allowing the smile to leave his face, and-

"KAIDAN!" a voice shouted, and Kaidan swore for a moment that it was Shepard. His eyes popped open and he was broken all over again at the sight of her lifeless body. His mind was playing the cruelest of tricks on him. He turned around, anger flaring inside him at whoever dared to rip him from his only chance to be with Aurora again.

"Don't be stupid, Alenko," Wrex's voice greeted him, though it was different than the one that had shouted before. Kaidan simply glared at the ground, not bothering to meet the Krogan's eyes.

"Don't you see what happened! Why shouldn't I just leave?" Kaidan shouted bitterly, gesturing to Shepard, Garrus, and Javik.

"We're not blind, Alenko. But we're not stupid either. War does many things to many different people, and right now it is killing you. Your head is clouded, you need to leave. You're more of a liability than an asset right now. You need to go," EDI said firmly from beside Joker. He hated them for being here, for intervening. It was then that his eyes fell on Joker. Joker seemed as broken as he was, but he wasn't saying a word. He was just staring at Aurora.

"You don't think we all loved her, Alenko? You don't think that this affects all of us?" Wrex growled. "You're so selfish. Shepard would be so disappointed."

Kaidan lunged at Wrex, every fiber of anger in his being exploded. He acted on impulse before thinking it through, he truly was going crazy. Wrex batted him down to the ground with a loud thud before he was even able to get a punch in, and all of the air left him.

"Don't you tell me what she would be, you bastard!" Kaidan screamed up at the Krogan, his entire body glowing blue. He went to use a power, but before he had the chance a fist went slamming hard into his left cheek and the entire world went black around him.


End file.
